DEAR MISS MANNERS: Because of COVID, we had not been having our regular family and friends Seder. We were happy to restart the occasion and had a rather large gathering.
During the Seder, one of the family began an online call at the table with a missing relative who was invited but declined, as they lived out of state. This call lasted 10 to 15 minutes, in the middle of the Seder.
I considered beating the caller with a stick, or at least dousing them with wine. My spouse was similarly angry.
This guest is, at best, unpleasant to be around. This night, they exceeded unpleasantness and selfishness. What should we have done?
GENTLE READER: Dousing this person with wine is likely to result in a stain on your tablecloth and an amusing video you might not want to have circulated.
Miss Manners believes you would be better off asking to say hello to the absent relative, and then adding, “We’re sorry you can’t be here, but you will excuse us exiting now, so that we can continue with the Seder.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we celebrated Easter with my family, my husband brought his tablet in the car and into our relative’s house. He uses it to game.
We have had many arguments over the excessive gaming. I asked him not to bring it into the relative’s home. His reply was, “I’m an adult; don’t tell me what to do.” He proceeded to walk in with it.
Several times during the holiday, he used it to play his game. I was embarrassed and appalled. I could go on and on. He is gaming a lot in our home as well.
GENTLE READER: You have a worse problem than the etiquette violation of his blatantly ignoring his hosts: He is not respecting your feelings. Miss Manners suggests dealing with that horrendous problem first.
Stories by Judith Martin
- Miss Manners: A bad cold is a perfectly fine excuse for backing out of dinner plans
- Miss Manners: April 1st birthday results in years of pranks, jokes. Please can it just stop?
- Miss Manners: Wife gets snippy when husband steps out to take a call during trivia contest
- Miss Manners: What do I say to men who feel the need to comment on my graying hair?
- Miss Manners: What can I use for a gender-neutral letter heading?
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.