Why Tho? Was that free drink at the bar really ‘free?’

woman in glasses

Lizzy Acker, Why Tho? advice columnist.Destiny Johnson/The Oregonian

Dear readers,

Just last week, I wrote a column about how to tip on free drinks from bartender friends. Almost immediately two bartenders sent in their responses. Before I get into my response to these responses, here they are:

Lizzy,

Speaking as a former bartender and longtime barfly, the standard etiquette on a free drink should be more than a standard tip – closer to 40/50% of the drink price.

R.

Lizzy,

Regarding your response to Nightmares About the Drink. I have to 110% disagree with your response. 35-year bartender here, so I have some experience. If I comped you a $10 drink and you left me (as you put it) “two ones,” I would be embarrassed for the level of cheapness you’ve just demonstrated to me. While $2 on a $10 drink is an acceptable tip for a drink you’ve paid for, it would come off as incredibly unappreciative (read: rude) under the circumstances as outlined by Nightmares About the Drink. General rule of thumb is to tip 50-100% of the drink price (you’re saving the cost of the tip you’d normally leave, which – in your example – would be $2). For a $10 drink, expect to leave $5-$10. Take care of those who take care of you. Period.

Experienced Bartender

OK readers, me again. First, I want to say I am grateful for anyone who takes the time to read my work and send me their feedback. Second, respectfully, these people are wrong.

I understand that maybe, for some bartenders, this is what they expect. But, guys, if this is what you’re expecting, know that what you are doing is not giving someone a gift. You are looking for a quid pro quo. Not the same thing.

After getting these responses, and stewing over them, I found myself sitting at a bar, talking to a couple friendly bartenders. I asked them what they thought about this and they, maybe due to my forceful reaction or maybe not, agreed with me. Basically, they said, people who expect this much of a tip on a free drink are looking for a way to get more cash in their pocket.

So, if your bartender is a legitimate friend, someone you know outside of the bar and care about (remember, the original letter writer called the bartender a “close friend”), then I think my advice holds. Sure, tip a little extra if you want, but I don’t think a real friend, giving you a real free drink, should expect a massive tip.

Am I wrong? Send me more letters!

Lizzy

Have a burning question? Send me an email at lacker@oregonian.com or tweet @lizzzyacker! Or, if you want to ask me a question with total anonymity, use this Google form.

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