Dear readers,
Recently I wrote about grandparents who favor one grandkid over the other. Readers had thoughts about this column! Here are some of the responses I received.
Lizzy,
Life isn’t fair, but Grandma should be. A kid will learn that lesson soon enough. They don’t need to learn it from a cruel grandparent at five years of age.
A parent should never tolerate anyone who makes any of their children feel lesser.
J.
Dear Lizzy,
Every Christmas, my grandma got eye-popping amounts of gifts for my cousins – doll houses and dolls, kitchen sets, cars and trucks for the boys, clothing, while my siblings and I got...pencils. One year I got a plastic wallet with a dime in it.
It hurt more than humanly possible as a little child. But it made me go out of my way as an adult to strive for fairly even gifts for my kids and grandkids.
Almost 70-year-old Grandmother Who Still Remembers
Dear Lizzy,
My grandma was an immigrant and didn’t speak much English. She also LOVED my brother… to a degree that was almost weird. My bro is 9 years older than me; my sister and I are only 18 months apart. When my brother was around, Grandma would follow him like a puppy and gush “Timmy, Timmy, Timmy” at him. It was sickeningly funny. She was on the fence about me, mostly because I looked so much like my mom, who grandma didn’t like much. But oddly… she wanted NOTHING to do with my sister – who favored my Dad – this grandma’s only child.
It was all very apparent and came to a funny head one holiday when she handed my brother $20 as a gift (which seemed like a million to me as I was probably 7 or 8), gave me $1 and my sister a quarter. LOL!!!!
The best part (for me) about it was it was such a perfect glimpse into the future of who we’d all turn out to be. My brother barely noticed and just went about his day. I laughed my ass off and teased my sister about it. My sister (most likely already planning her retirement savings plan) whined about the inequity.
But you are right about this: Kids REMEMBER this stuff and it can make a huge difference in their relationships going forward.
A.
Me again! I have to say, I was shocked by the audacity of these grandmas. Grandparents! Take heed! The grandparents in these stories may be dead but their legacy of unfair treatment lives on.
Good luck!
Lizzy
We talked about this question on “Why Tho? The Podcast.” Listen!
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